It's just that......well........I........HATE..........the......WINTER!!!!!!!!!
Ok, so I was a little dramatic. Maybe even infantile. But seriously folks, I had the greatest fortune of spending 2 1/2 weeks in Southern California U.S.A. with my family (and the dog...don't forget the dog) and as I sit here in -20 degree, snow covered Canada. I can honestly say "I HATE THE DAMN WINTER!"
I don't understand it, don't get a charge out of it, can't possible begin to see myself enjoying it ANY time soon. All it means to me is frozen dog water, shoveling, snot, static hair, chapped lips, frost bitten ears, dressing up in umpteen layers just to take the garbage out, dressing and undressing your 4 yr old as he wanders outside a hundred times a day to play in the snow, come in to pee, play in the snow more, come in for hot cocoa (lather, rinse, repeat), icy roads, cold toes, no sun.
I mean, I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings but I'm trying really hard to come up with any reasons to like the Winter. I want to trade it in for the Summer. I'll even take the fall and the Spring for good measure. I can't live in the cold North for much longer, I'm telling you. Life is measurably less fun and joyous when it's winter. The days get shorter yet there's so much more to do. JUST getting ready for work you have to warm up the truck, clear the snow from the windows, find your missing glove only to realize the dog ate it in the middle of the night (Ok, that happens in the summer with socks too, but you're missing my point)
Summer = Get out of bed, put on shorts and tank top, leave house.
Winter = Do not get out of bed for fear of freezing to death, jump out of bed and into shower only to find it has to warm up for 5 minutes, stand in cold shower cursing the day, freeze your b*$#ls off getting out of shower, dress in long johns before anything else making "fashionable" obsolete, and so on and so on.
Ok, horse dead, stop beating.
So in light of my hatred for this particular season coupled with an equal disgust from Big B, we've made an annual trip to California nearly every year for awhile now. This year as the economy is in the toilet, my hours have been cut back at work, Big B's hours were pretty much annihilated, our annual trip seemed it may befall on hard times.
But yes Virginia there IS a Santa Clause and his name is Big B. Dear husband decided on a whim we'd leave for California as sure as shootin', turn a blind eye on economics, and hit the road (in 2 days none the less!) Bosses were informed, Cat-Sitters pleaded with (thanks Nana!!!) Bags packed, dogs bundled up, diapers, treats, toys, DVD players, Laptops, coolers, and GPS 's thrown in for good measure and off we went.
If there had been any lingering doubt as to whether or not this trip at this particular time was a good idea, we only have to show you the photos of our departing day. They shout "Leave NOW, run run as far away as you can...go quick before the roads close!!"
Now anyone who has ever traveled with small children on long trips can attest to the fact that when and IF you arrive at your destination and you have NOT thrown said kids out of the window or left them on a busy freeway to fend for themselves it is a gosh darn miracle. I am sure there are many historical fact to back me up when I say 2 kids + 2 parents + 12 hours of travel = disaster. Nerves fray.....no, actually they sizzle, explode, and take your head with them.
The inventor of the much loved and cherished portable DVD player gets my award for Nobel Peace Prize of the 20th century. Although we limit TV at home, when imprisoned inside a moving vehicle for the majority of the day, be it the parent OR the child, it is a natural life saver. I LOVE LOVE LOVE the little thing.
Big B takes no prisoners when it comes to making time on the asphalt. We had a tight schedule, were only allocated 2 nights in hotels along the way, and were scheduled to arrive in Pismo Beach Tuesday afternoon. As soon as we woke up on our departing day I knew there was going to be trouble. Snow, snow and more snow, plus the unpleasant truth that no one can take care of their roads like Canadians, left me with a bad taste in my mouth. I have complete faith and trust in Big B's driving ability so this thank god was a blessing.
Road blocks were dealt with, thousands upon thousands of Semi trucks paused along the highway were passed, kids buckled in tightly as could be, chains bought and unceremoniously hurled in the back of the pick up truck - we crept up the dark and abandoned highway making our way for the Siskiyou pass and the Californian border. There was a fleeting moment when Big B looked alarmingly worried, and for me that was not exactly encouraging given his extreme courage navigating snowy roads. I was strapped in for the ride though so I kept my apprehension to myself and battened down the hatches. A small internal television in my brain replayed the fateful story of a young couple and their 5-month-old baby getting lost and trapped in a severe blizzard while traveling from Northern California to Idaho. Thankfully they made it out alive, missing some fingers and toes maybe, but alive and well none the less. (True story!)
What we as a young Canadian couple had let slip from our memories was that no where on earth aside from Canada AKA The Great White North, does ANYONE know how to drive in the frickin' snow. Road blocks. Miles of Big Rigs pulled over for road closures. Flashing lights warning of imminent danger. "Chains required" flashing on overhead signs. It was pure and simple snow terrorism at it's finest. Once we had passed the hub of the terror, we encountered an unoccupied, well grated and sanded, perfectly safe to drive on highway. California here we come!
Stay tuned for installment #2 later next week....
3 comments:
good laughs. you are a sunshine gal indeed.
can't wait for part two...!
I agree...Enough with the snow already? Bring me warmth and sunshine. Can't wait for part 2.
Have you ever considered writing a book?
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